Christmas Prayer

When the Light of the World shines in the darkness—

I will realize my own total emptiness

And make room for the Christ in the inn of my heart.

I will realize my utter nothingness

And make room for the Christ in the inn of my heart.

I will grasp my dire poverty

And make room for the Christ in the inn of my heart.

I will tumble into the deep dark abyss

And make room for the Christ in the inn of my heart.

I will realize finally that I am really not I

And make room for the Christ in the inn of my heart.

I will comprehend my absolute alienation from God

And make room for the Christ in the inn of my heart.

I will come to grips with my inner angst

And make room for the Christ in the inn of my heart.

I will know that consumerism does not fulfill

And make room for the Christ in the inn of my heart.

I will acknowledge that it is about giving and not getting

And make room for the Christ in the inn of my heart.

I will surrender to the call of infinite Love

And make room for the Christ in the inn of my heart.

Come, O come, Emmanuel,

Grace me with your indwelling Light.

Have a blessed Christmas!







Rainbow of Hope c. J. Patrick Mahon, 2013

Rainbow of Hope
c. J., Patrick Mahon, 2013

Often we experience angst—alienation, fear, and dread because of what life throws at us. Eckhart said, “God is in my suffering. God is my suffering.” God is my suffering. This is where we find God, or rather, where God finds us. Our suffering brings us face to face with our own futility and nothingness.

Recently, as I have continued to learn about prayer, I have rediscovered Karl Rahner, the influential German theologian from the 20th century. Rahner is the person who charted the course for religion and spirituality in the 21st century, “The Christian of the 21st century will be a mystic or not be at all.” Rahner the mystic is still somewhat like Rahner the theologian with long sentences translated from German. He has to be read slowly because he writes with poetic metaphoric beauty about the indescribable—our union with God. Thomas Merton, by contrast, seems to have been more reluctant to write about the indescribable. Yes, he does explore prayer but the only prayer he recommends is the Jesus Prayer—the prayer of the heart. “Lord Jesus, have mercy on me a sinner.” Prayer is not to get what we want but to be what God wants. Continue reading

Comfort My People

Glen Falls, NC leveling a mountain c. J. Patrick Mahon

Glen Falls, NC leveling a mountain
c. J. Patrick Mahon

“Comfort, oh comfort my people,”
says your God.
“Speak softly and tenderly to Jerusalem,
but also make it very clear
That she has served her sentence,
that her sin is taken care of—forgiven!
She’s been punished enough and more than enough,
and now it’s over and done with.”

Thunder in the desert!
“Prepare for God’s arrival!
Make the road straight and smooth,
a highway fit for our God.
Fill in the valleys,
level off the hills,
Smooth out the ruts,
clear out the rocks.
Then God’s bright glory will shine
and everyone will see it.
Yes. Just as God has said.” (Is 40)

The Advent beat goes on. Bold promises of God coming to save God’s people greet us daily as we open the Advent scriptures. Continue reading

The Names of God

Tufted Titmouse

Tufted Titmouse

Our rector, Fr. Bill Breedlove, led an Advent day of reflection in which he described in some detail four images of God. How do we see God? Is our God the remote, celestial dwelling Great Other? Is our God the down in the dirt God of Brokenness? Is our God the demanding, Santa Claus checklist God of Perfection? Or, finally, is our God the passionless, sterile God of Law? Is God some of the above? None of the above? All of the above? More than the above?

Fr. Bill’s thought-provoking series of meditations provoked a lot of reflection on my part. Please don’t attribute any of my wild meanderings that follow to him directly. Continue reading

The Desert

Cardinal on Feeder c. J. Patrick Mahon

Cardinal on Feeder
c. J. Patrick Mahon

“Knowing the correct password—saying ‘Master, Master,’ for instance—isn’t going to get you anywhere with me. What is required is serious obedience—doing what my Father wills. I can see it now—at the Final Judgment thousands strutting up to me and saying, ‘Master, we preached the Message, we bashed the demons, our God-sponsored projects had everyone talking.’ And do you know what I am going to say? ‘You missed the boat. All you did was use me to make yourselves important. You don’t impress me one bit. You’re out of here.’ (Mt 21-23) Continue reading


As we pause to give Thanks today. Let us remember that our very life and all that we have is pure gift from a loving God.Cullasaja 3_HDR

11 Take care that you do not forget the Lord your God, by failing to keep his commandments, his ordinances, and his statutes, which I am commanding you today.  12 When you have eaten your fill and have built fine houses and live in them,  13 and when your herds and flocks have multiplied, and your silver and gold is multiplied, and all that you have is multiplied,  14 then do not exalt yourself, forgetting the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery,  15 who led you through the great and terrible wilderness, an arid waste-land with poisonous[b] snakes and scorpions. He made water flow for you from flint rock, 16 and fed you in the wilderness with manna that your ancestors did not know, to humble you and to test you, and in the end to do you good.  17 Do not say to yourself, ‘My power and the might of my own hand have gained me this wealth.’  18 But remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you power to get wealth, so that he may confirm his covenant that he swore to your ancestors, as he is doing today. (Dt 8:11-17)

Have a blessed Thanksgiving and enjoy Thanks-living!

Pope Francis’ Exhortation and Merton

Bird Flying In_1As I ponder the new Exhortation from Pope Francis, I feel as if a new day has dawned once again. My mind flits back to John XXIII and his speech to open the Vatican Council over 50 years ago. My mind slow forwards laboriously through the painful roll back of hope under John Paul II and Benedict XVI. Francis, in his own words, has “the smell of the sheep” and we, Christians and all people of good will, recognize him as our shepherd in these difficult times. Francis warns us that “sourpusses” [May be the first ever appearance of this word in a papal writing] cannot spread the joy of the Gospel. Like Paul, he exhorts us to rejoice always as we carry the message of Christ’s love to one another. This is a far cry from the evangelism of the conquistadors. This is about humans in heart-to-heart communion.

Here are the first three paragraphs of the Exhortation:

1.The joy of the Gospel fills the hearts and lives of all who encounter Jesus. Those who accept his offer of salvation are set free from sin, sorrow, inner emptiness, and loneliness. With Christ joy is constantly born anew. In this Exhortation I wish to encourage the Christian faithful to embark upon a new chapter of evangelization marked by this joy, while pointing out new paths for the Church’s journey in years to come.

2.The great danger in today’s world, pervaded as it is by consumerism, is desolation and anguish born of a complacent yet covetous heart, the feverish pursuit of frivolous pleasures, and a blunted conscience. Whenever our interior life becomes caught up in its own interests and concerns, there is no longer room for others, no place for the poor. God’s voice is no longer heard, the quiet joy of his love is no longer felt, and the desire to do good fades. This is a very real danger for believers too. Many will fall prey to it, and end up resentful, angry and listless. That is no way to live a dignified and fulfilled life; it is not God’s will for us, nor is it life in the Spirit which has its source in the heart of the Risen Christ.

 3.I invite all Christians, everywhere, at this moment, to a renewed personal encounter with Jesus Christ, or at least an openness to letting him encounter them; I ask all of you to do this unflinchingly each day. No one should think that this invitation is not meant for him or her, since “no one is excluded from the joy brought by the Lord.” The Lord does not disappoint those who take this risk; whenever we take a step toward Jesus, we come to realize that he is already there, waiting for us with open arms. Now is the time to say to Jesus:

“Lord, I have let myself be deceived; in thousands of ways I have shunned your love, yet here I am once more, to renew my covenant with you. I need you. Save me again, Lord, take me once more into your redeeming embrace.”

How good it feels to come back to him whenever we are lost! Let me say this once more: God never tires of forgiving us; we are the ones who tire of seeking his mercy. Christ who told us to forgive one another “seventy times seven” (Mt 18:22) has given us his example: he has forgiven seventy times seven. Time and time again he bears us on his shoulders. No one can strip us of the dignity bestowed upon us by this boundless and unfailing love. With a tenderness that never disappoints, but is always capable of restoring our joy, he makes it possible for us to lift up our heads and start anew. Let us not flee from the resurrection of Jesus, let us never give up, come what will. May nothing inspire us more than his life, which impels us onwards! (

Wow!!! I am continuing to read Higgin’s book, Thomas Merton on Prayer. What I am reading makes me wonder whether Francis has read and studied Merton. Not that he had to because all mystics come to the some truth.

I am gaining a better understanding of hat Merton meant about the true self and false self. The false self is about survival and Bishop Spong on his around the world pilgrimage observed and reported on animal behavior, all of which is directed toward survival—survival of the fittest. Obviously, our residual reptilian brain impels us to do whatever is necessary to survive; however, the call of the Risen Christ invites us to transcend our survival instincts. The image of God deep within us is the true self which enables us to the transcend instinct.

Merton has two stages. The emptiness Francis describes is the alienation which Merton describes. At some point in our life, we move from first half survival to second half transcendence. We are becoming more than what we are. For Francis, we are gifted with the love of God in Christ; this fuels our desire to share the love of God with all others. Ditto Merton. The transcendence of the true self moves us toward communion with all others—no exceptions. Merton warns that this is not an easy task. When we come to abyss of emptiness and nakedness, Francis and Merton urge us to fall headlong into the darkness so we can emerge on the other side filled with God’s mercy and compassion. When we know we are empty, God can then fill our emptiness with abundance which we can share with others.

Filled with abundance, we can truly “Rejoice always!”



Something Happened at Gethsemani

Bird Flying In_1In one of his German works, The Book of Consolation, Meister Eckhart says, “My suffering is in God. My suffering is God.” These two sentences have been reverberating through my mind for days.

Does God suffer? Abraham Heschel, the great Jewish rabbi and activist of the 20th century, wrote about the pathos of God:

There is a living God who cares . . . passionately (pathos). Justice is more than an idea. The covenant is more than a legal contract . . . a legal document of obligations . . . It is a guarantee of mutual concern.

God is pained when he sees people he love abuse one another.

God simply wants justice. (  Amos’ message)

Eckhart says God suffers but God does not suffer because God’s suffering is not seen as suffering but rather as joy.

Something happened at the Abbey of Gethsemani a few days ago. Attending a Merton retreat, I sensed something different going on within me. All of a sudden the Psalms chanted by the monks took on new meaning—a profound regained sense of trust in God who is my protector and shield. God cares about me and calls me forth to be more than I am. Like Paul, I am powerless to do this on my own. The saying over the enclosure entrance gate, “God alone,” spoke to my heart and this time to the ears of my heart. I “knew” now my own helpless and total emptiness before the abyss where we find God. Eckhart says that our attachments destroy our relationship with God. God alone matters.

Jesuit, John Higgins, has written an excellent analysis of Merton’s thoughts on prayer—Thomas Merton on Prayer. Merton’s basic concept of prayer is that we are made for union with God in Christ. Thus in love we are to share that love with others. The difficulty comes in praying and loving in a world and society where we are often alienated, move to the margins, not allowed to be who we are in Christ. Chesterton said, “Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and not tried” ( Action and contemplation constitute the pillars of our life with God. Prayer keeps our compasses on true north and guides us on the way. Spong has documented that the basic human instinct is self-preservation and survival. We are summoned by the spark of God within us to transcend our survival instinct so that we might love God alone and then love one another. A simple peasant beautifully described prayer to the Cure d’Ars, “I look at God and God looks at me.” In solitude, God speaks to us in the only language God knows—silence. In order to provide a place of solitude, Gethsemani has signs all over the place, “Silence spoken here.”

Our struggle is not promethean, not something we can do of our own effort. It is rather our struggle to let God into our lives. It is our struggle in our quest for God. Is this our suffering in God and God suffering? Our struggle. Our quest. In one isolated moment years ago, deep in the here and now, I realized, “There is nothing here.” This has percolated within me for years and now I am getting some glimpse, as through a glass darkly, that my realization of my no-thingness is the doorway into Merton’s “palace of no-where” (now here). I fall into the abyss when I try to love and come up short.

I am watching videos on the Origin of Earth. The lecturer says that creation came from nothing at the instant of the Big Bang when the vast universe was smaller than a small atom. Moving into fullness and expanding the universe is moving toward the point of nothingness. (Don’t get worried—it will take billions of years.) Is Chardin’s Omega Point the point of no-thingness? Yes, because then all will be all in the Risen Christ.

Like the cosmos we arrive at a points of nothingness during our life. Life is always in process and there is no one final point of nothingness. Life is a journey into nothingness. Life is not working for us. We are no-where. If we can morph no-where into now-here, maybe we can open to the grace of God in Christ who empowers us to transcend our survival instinct and come to a new level of consciousness. We pass through our false self  and always arise to new life and new abundance but, like Sisyphus, the rock of life keeps tumbling back down the hill. Life is death (no-thingness) and resurrection (abundance).

Something did happen at Gethsemani and I have difficulty describing it. Seems as though my prayer was revitalized by chanting the psalms with the monks where I gained a deep, abiding sense of God and God’s love and mercy. I came away praying psalms daily, practicing lectio divina (sacred reading) daily, and trusting more in God. God will empower me in the Risen Christ, like Paul, to do that which I cannot do.

A brief excursus on this theme. It seems to me that some people have a better ability to love than others. Original sin is but a metaphor for our innate brokenness. Some of us are more broken than others by dint of our upbringing and our life experiences. No parent is perfect. If one’s early life experience included unhealthy doses of emotional and perhaps physical abuse, it will be harder for that person to open in trust to God’s love. Suffering with the baggage of the past gets in the way of union with God but there is hope. Again, what a person cannot do on his/her on God can and will do once the person comes the deep dark abyss of no-thingness and falls headlong into the palace of no-where and tumbles out into the realm of God’s love—abundance and life await on the other side no-where.

God comes to us disguised as our life. Life with God is not all kumbaya and blissful oms. Life has its ups and downs. The Buddha saw that suffering was the root of our existence. We suffer because we are attached to things and to our small self that seeks only what we want and need. We humans have arrived a new level of consciousness but we are still trapped hopelessly in our false self. We cannot answer the God-call to love and service on our own power. Not to be outdone, Christ teaches us that through our suffering in life’s daily struggles we are empowered by His Spirit to transcend ourselves, to become who we were meant to be in God’s eyes. Christ’s suffering divinized him and He now “sits at the right hand of God.” He has shown us the way to life in abundance.

Life happens. Eckhart counsels that a change in our perspective can change how we deal with what is happening to us. If we have 80 coins and lose 40, why not rejoice in the fact that we still have 40 coins? The suffering of loss morphs into the joy of gratitude.

Back at the ranch, we have been facilitating an eleven week John Dominic Crossan DVD-based course at church—“The Challenge of Jesus.” The course is full of new insights into matters theological. I was still struggling with what was going on within me, when a class member asked whether the material presented on the DVD really mattered. In one sense it does because it puts a new perspective on the Resurrection. But in another sense, it does not matter. Theological knowledge is no shortcut to a living relationship with the Living God. The God of Pathos cares about us and cares deeply. Our suffering is in God. Our suffering is God. The God of justice and mercy suffers with us as we reach from the depths of the dark abyss to grab a grace rope.

The Pope at Lampedusa

My suffering is in God. My suffering is God.

Meister Eckhart

Wow! This mind-blowing koan worth is wrestling with. I will probably wind up wounded like Jacob before the koan turns me loose.

The first thing that comes to mind is something I think I first heard from Richard Rohr—God comes to us disguised as our life. Then, I think of the Buddha and his teaching that suffering, which is part of life, comes from attachment. This squares quite nicely with Eckhart’s teaching in The Book of Consolation. Eckhart says that when we focus on something other than God, we open the door to suffering. He goes on to say that God suffers but to God suffering is not suffering. It is joy. Finally, my mind flits back to the inscription over the gate to the monastic enclosure at the Abbey of gethsemane in Kentucky—God Alone!  When we focus on God Alone our suffering turns to compassion and mercy is the very being and life of God. This is as far as I have come with “understanding” Eckhart’s koan. Continue reading

Grace, Chaos and Mercy


Goldfinch on Feeder Cam

 As far as the gospel is concerned, they are enemies for your sake; but as far as election is concerned, they are loved on account of the patriarchs, for God’s gifts and his call are irrevocable. Just as you who were at one time disobedient to God have now received mercy as a result of their disobedience, so they too have now become disobedient in order that they too may now receive mercy as a result of God’s mercy to you. For God has bound everyone over to disobedience so that he may have mercy on them all.

I have been struggling to put God into an evolutionary world view. Creation is God’s love and mercy flowing forth and yet we live in what Merton describes as existential dread. We strive to become better, to become more faithful followers of the Gospel and yet, like Paul, we continuously do that which we would not do. Paul had an intense experience of the Risen Christ on the road to Damascus and but he still does that which he would not do. Like Paul, we feel helpless as we come closer and closer to our own nothingness, our total inability to become more than we are by dint of our own effort. This is the stuff of despair; however, Paul’s assurance of divine mercy grounds us in hope.

The highlighted passage from Paul helps me make sense of our aloneness, frustration and alienation. Creation is groaning forth toward the Omega Point when the Kingdom will become total reality. It is groaning forth because the evolving nature of the cosmos and all in it is characterized by both grace and chaos. The instinct for survival that drives our reptilian brains consigns us to disobedience. Instead of answering to call to love as the Creator loves, we disobey—we fail to listen to the call of love. We serve our own interests, our false selves, instead of loving and giving as we should. We strive to assure our own survival.

Why chaos? Why survival? Why disobedience? Paul says it is because God has bound us over to disobedience so that we might know the unfathomable love of God—hesed = mercy, loving kindness. In our anxiety and dread, perhaps even our despair, we come to a place of nothingness, an abyss. It is the desert. It is the dark night of the soul. It is bottoming out. No wonder AA has had such a dramatic impact on our society. AA gets it. AA understands what Paul is saying. We have to come to the place of nothingness, emptiness, and dread so we can discover the mercy of the Creator who lives buried deep within our being, as our very true being, as our face before we were born. Total surrender to the Creator who comes to us countless times each day disguised as our life is the way up and out. But, first of all, it is the way down. We have to fall in order that we might arise, that the glory of the Creator hidden in our being may blossom into the Cosmic Christ living within us. As creation surges forth, we learn to accept the “will” of the Creator as we experience life as it is—not as we want it to be. The grace AND chaos in our lives spurs our divinization, but only if we let go and let God. Partial surrender, lip service will not suffice. Total surrender is the way up and out.

It is love—the capacity to give and care for others and for creation. Blake says that we are born to bear the beams of love. Bearing beams of love does not come naturally. We have to surrender to become the beam bearers of Divine love. The Creator throws us into grace and chaos so that we might become who we truly are.